Before I go on

Before I go on, let me get me another beer....

...
..
Ok then, here goes:

Like a dove I fly
through the smog of my mind,
I walk but do not see where.
I see but don't hear what.
I want you
but am forced to draw back.
Help me
I don't know what I want.

If you see a cloud in the sky,
tell me and I'll ride it by...
ride it by your house
in a summer night of May.

And I take another sip,
of eternal paradise;
I want to go away
but cannot walk today.

And where is the smell
of a thousand roses
flying in the wind
of the desert sky.

Where are the nights
of the quiet sea,
waiting in the night for me?

All is dead
and long forgotten
but the sound
I still now hear.

Where are my long lost friends,
which I never wished to have?

And if ever you want me,
to guide you through the ashes,
know this thing -
I'm blind
and legless
and my hands are not with me.

Tell me why I've seen this much, -
of the sunset
in the mountains,
where are those rocky crosses
and wind-rivers of the north?

How will I ever understand
that which is not mine.

Wonder through my mind and try to see it -
for I don't know what you're looking for.

Nothing here is more prevalent
than my fucking dirty whore.

Where are you
my long lost child
of tomorrow nevermore,
why have you blessed me with your nightmare,
where are you when I want more?

And in the heat of night
I holler,
waking up to the sound of crickets,
asking no one why I'm born.

How is this an evolution?
How is this a darkened forest
of my mind
of nothing more?

Go ahead, and fuck my sister,
go ahead and kill my brother,
screw you now in your duleur. Who
are you to judge my madness?
Who are you to slam that door?

And in - the - end
I stop - and listen.
Wanting mother to come by...
in the end I stop and wake up,
where have I been my whole life?

But whatever I may have done -
I'll remember nothing more,
since I want only to sleep now
and if I was more awake
I'd dive in the quiet sea.
Slowly flowing through the air
waiting for your whisper more,
and I know I'll never get it
since it's always such a bore